The New Horse Persons of the Apocalypse
by Spammi
Summary: The New Horse Persons of the Apocalypse have arrived...and they mean business. Wow thats a sucky summary but nm


Crowley and Aziraphale looked at each other, eyebrows raised. Being confronted by  
  
people that wanted to bring about the Apocalypse wasn't actually all that common an  
  
occurrence. Especially if those people were teenage girls.  
  
"Well, what do you think?" the girl with dark dark brown hair was the first to break the silence.  
  
"Er..." was all Crowley managed. He looked at Aziraphale for assistance.  
  
"Um, do you wanna run that by us again?" the angel didn't seem able to follow the  
  
conversation either.  
  
The blonde girl sighed. "We are the next Horse Peeps™ of the Apocalypse" she  
  
explained.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"We're gonna end the world" the redhead added.  
  
"Right. And you're gonna do this how?" asked Crowley  
  
"Well, destroy it obviously" said the other girl with brown hair  
  
"Wait a minute," began Aziraphale. "There are already Horse Persons of the  
  
Apocalypse in existence. What are your names?"  
  
The girl with dark dark brown hair pointed at herself. "Laura" she said. Then she  
  
pointed at the blonde, "Sam", "Becky", at the redhead, "Emma" at the other girl with  
  
brown hair, and finally "Melissa", at the girl who was way too tall.  
  
Crowley raised his eyebrows again and Aziraphale shook his head. "No, I mean, your  
  
Horse Persons' names. If you even are Horse Persons. Which you can't be because  
  
there are already some."  
  
The Horse Peeps™ looked at each other.  
  
"Huddle!" cried Laura, and the Horse Peeps™ huddled together to have a quick and  
  
whispered conversation. Crowley narrowed his eyes.¹ The Horse Peeps™ broke apart.  
  
"Right" said Laura, who appeared to be the ringleader. "I am 'Ineffable Apples'. Sam  
  
is 'Fudge Wallabies and Blasphemous Ducks'. Emma is 'The Loofa of Doom',  
  
Melissa is 'Barcodes Never Work' and Becky is 'Stripy Breach-Wearing Roosters'." "What the...? began Aziraphale  
  
"And we plan to destroy the world" interrupted The Loofa of Doom.  
  
"Easier said than done," said Crowley  
  
"Nuh-uh." argued Fudge Wallabies and Blasphemous Ducks. "On the contrary. All  
  
you need is an evil ring of power and-"  
  
She was interrupted by Stripy Breach-Wearing Roosters; "Wrong apocalyptic  
  
reference Sa-Fudge Wallabies and Blasphemous Ducks."  
  
"Oh. My bad."  
  
"Anyway!" said Ineffable Apples. "Back to the topic at hand. Are you with us or  
  
not?"  
  
The angel and demon looked at each other. They both liked the world the way it was²  
  
and besides, a bunch of teenage girls weren't what either of them fancied spending the  
  
rest of eternity with when their plan failed and they were all punished with eternal,  
  
well, punishment.³  
  
"Er, no. That's ok" said Crowley. The Horse Peeps™ glared at him.  
  
"Well fine, suit yourself." Said Barcodes Never Work.  
  
"What about you, angel?" asked The Loofa of Doom.  
  
Aziraphale had the decency to look a little nervous. "Erm, n-no. I don't think I should.  
  
Not part of the Ineffable Plan, I'm fairly certain."  
  
Fudge Wallabies and Blasphemous Ducks rolled her eyes.  
  
"What's the point in having an ineffable plan if you can't do the opposite of what it  
  
says?" asked Stripy Breach-Wearing Roosters. Crowley and Aziraphale exchanged  
  
confused glances.  
  
"Erm, well...I...wha?" was all Aziraphale could say.  
  
Sensing they had well and truly confused the angel and demon, Ineffable Apples  
  
saluted them and turned to the Horse Peeps™.  
  
"C'mon guys. Let's go destroy the world by our onesies."  
  
The Horse Peeps™ agreed and turned to leave. Barcodes Never Work turned to  
  
Crowley and Aziraphale.  
  
"See you in hell" she said.  
  
"I resent that!" said Crowley.  
  
"Oh...I, uh, sorry, I didn't mean-"stammered Barcodes Never Work. The Loofa of  
  
Doom grabbed her by the arm.  
  
"We're Horse Peeps™ of the Apocalypse dude. We don't apologise to anyone!" she  
  
hissed under her breath.  
  
"Oh...right." The Loofa of Doom dragged Barcodes Never Work after Ineffable  
  
Apples and Stripy Breach-Wearing Roosters.  
  
Just as Fudge Wallabies and Blasphemous Ducks was walking away, she tripped over  
  
a speck of dust, in pure Frodo Style™ fashion, and fell flat on her face. Stripy Breach-  
  
Wearing Roosters helped her up, and they left.  
  
Crowley and Aziraphale couldn't help but laugh.  
  
~*~  
THE END  
(Of the world as we know it)  
  
¹Although of course nobody could see this due to him wearing his trademark sunglasses  
  
² Mostly. Although neither was sure what on earth had possessed people to buy The Cheeky Girls' records  
  
³ The word 'if' hadn't crossed either of their minds 


End file.
